


Perspective

by BloodyAbattoir



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Gen, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 16:37:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16178981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyAbattoir/pseuds/BloodyAbattoir
Summary: It's funny how your perspective can change with time.





	Perspective

It's funny how your perspective can change with time. 

At a younger age, you believed yourself to be the most despicable person to ever walk the earth. You knew in your heart, which you'd always been told was cold and shriveled, that your family would've been happier if you'd never been born. After all, why wouldn't they be? All you ever seemed to do was give them grief. At least, that's what you were always told. 

 

From a young age, all of your successes were swept under the rug, as if they'd never happened. You were rarely, if ever, congratulated, even when you'd accomplished something major. Your family, your parents in particular, acted as if they expected you to achieve these goals with ease, with little to no encouragement. To an extent, you could've dealt with this, could've tolerated this, if not for the other side of the coin known as life. 

While your achievements were by and large forgotten, the same could not be said about your failures. Said failures were paraded about like a prized racehorse. Every slight wrong you did was placed under a microscope, examined in fine detail, everything that you could've or should've done differently laid out in front of you. 

It seemed that no matter what you did, you were never able to get them to focus on your positive aspects. You were a brilliant child, but they could care less. You told a few lies every so often, typically in an attempt to smooth things over, and were branded as a compulsive liar for it. You disagreed with your parents once in a while,part of the normal process of growing older. You were at best considered a problem child, and at worst, you were a burden and insane. 

You would float through life for the vast majority of your adolescent years. Your peers, who you rarely interacted with, were going on to develop their own self-identities. They began to define themselves, create their own views of self, independent of their parents. Meanwhile, you had not developed your own identity. You defined yourself as your family had defined you. You could not see yourself past the slurs and insults spat at you by the people who supposedly loved you. You would continue to see yourself as a horrible person, a worthless liar, a failure of a human being. 

Quite obviously, viewing yourself this way would make anyone depressed. Nearly everyone else could understand this. Yet for some reason, you couldn't comprehend, you couldn't understand why you were depressed. To you, you viewed yourself as nothing short of the worst of the worst, the bottom of the barrel. At best, you were a consolation prize, and at worst, you were a punishment. 

It wouldn't be until you hit college that you realized at least part of the problem. You had no sense of self that hadn't been defined by others. How could you be a functional person if you had no idea who you were supposed to be?


End file.
